omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
