The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
