do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
