I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize