i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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