I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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