i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
