hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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