I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
