I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
