I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize