once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
