If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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