im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
