420 ftw
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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