so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
