My friends, they love my intelligence
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize