Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
