one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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