Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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