I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
