i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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