He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
