Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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