Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you didnt know i had herpes?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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