I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
