Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
