Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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