I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
