i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize