:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
where are my eyebrows?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
