Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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