scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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