We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
