Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize