spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
