just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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