she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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