I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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