We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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