i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize