I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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