I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think I am morally bankrupt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
should my penis look like a turkey
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I party with great urgency now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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