Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Randomize
