why didn't you poke me back
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
