That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
this hospital has no fireball
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
