so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
