Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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