good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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