so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
