Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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