yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
