but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
