Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
