theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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