loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
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