Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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