I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize