Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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